What Makes Faith Stick?

Have you ever heard the phrase... "Like Mother, Like Daughter" Children are more like their parents then we would sometimes like to think. Now this of course is not necessarily bad. I mean you are raising them so you would want them to be like you in some ways.

The Bible calls us to "train a child a child in the way they should go and they will not depart from it." In the book, Sticky Faith, Dr. Kara Powell and Dr. Chip Clark help you find everyday ideas to build lasting faith in your children.

Powell and Clark state, "how you express and live out your faith may have a greater impact on your son or daughter than anything else." I would venture to also say that this is true when the children in our ministries. But the most important thing a parent can do is model the faith that they are teaching their children.

When I first entered children's ministry as my career I did not do a lot with family ministry. And to be honest I am not sure I really knew what to do when it came to the whole family. For me there really was no reason that stood out too much other then feeling completely inadequate for such a task. Here I was a 23 year old single female. I didn't think I had anything to offer. But as I continued to really meet the families and build relationships with them I found how unbelievably important a whole family ministry is.

I remember a mom asking me to do a Bible study with her daughters. The mom was heavily involved in the occult, specifically Santeria. And although she wanted her children to learn about the Bible she really had no desire and lived the complete opposite of what the Bible says.

To this day all of her children have strayed away from anything we have ever talked about. It didn't stick because it wasn't adopted in the home. And not only was it not adopted in the home but what was lived out on a daily basis was completely opposite. As Powell and Clark says, "when it comes to kids' faith, parents get what they are."

So ministry to families as a whole is so incredibly important. And we can do this by getting involved in the families lives and really taking a vested interest in their lives. It is never to late.

Open Your Eyes

During this last week I have been thinking a lot about situations. If there is one thing I have learned in inner-city children's ministry, and for that matter all ministry, is that situations are key. In the book Situations Matter, that I discussed last time, says "It takes a jolt of the unfamiliar to remind you just how blind you are to your regular surroundings." WOW!

We get use to so many things that we start missing the many people that are around you and therefor miss important opportunities to share God's Message with them. As I read in Barefoot, "We feel bad. We recognize need. We talk about it with others, buy the T-Shirt, and even read the books. But so often we fall short of doing anything. We hear about the need and sympathize. But that is not compassion.

We need to open our eyes to those around us and not wait for that jolt of the unfamiliar to be reminded. There is an amazing book by Jonathan Kozol, who is one of my favorite authors of non-fiction books, called Rachel and Her Children. This is a book on homelessness in NYC. It gives us a peak into the real lives of homeless families. You see past the assumptions and truly get to know the people. So many times we judge people by pre-conceived ideas that we might have about them, whether it is because of their age, race, gender, sexual preferences, their family, or even past mistakes.

We need to view others through the lens of Christ. They are someone who is loved by God so much that He sent His Son to die for them. Don't wait! Start today looking beyond the familiar. Get to really know the families you work with. Ask genuine questions and take your ministry to a whole new level where situations do actually matter.

Situations Matter

Have you ever jumped to a conclusion about someone, or got upset about a situation because you only saw it from your perspective. If there is one thing I have learned in Inner-city children's ministry is that Situations Matter. There are so many times we assume things and then there is no convincing us that we aren't right.

As Sam Sommers Says in his book Situations Matter, "The science of situations teach us that many of our intuitions about human nature are wrong. We react to things around us is driven by situations. You can become a more effective person when we realize there is more to human nature then personality."

"Everyday we need to walk the proverbial mile in the proverbial shoes of others. Realizing this will make you better at our job as well as your relationships with others. Although I feel I have just cracked the surface of this book I am looking forward to weeding through the rest of what Sam has to say.

The other day a friend of mine put this up on her blog. I feel it really speaks to the subject matter of this book. I look forward to sharing more things that I discover through this read.

Because the situations in life really do matter!

--- From my friend Rebecca's Blog ----

Me: God, can I ask you a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise You won't get mad

God: I promise

Me: Why did You let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God: Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did You do that?

God: Let me see, the death angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of My Angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.

Me (humbled): Oh

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed): Okay

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm Sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust Me.... in all things, the good & the bad.

Me: I will trust You.

God: And don't doubt that My plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, Thank You for everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I Love looking after My Children...

Are You Barefoot?

"It's easy to cast stones. It's easy to point out the problems in the existing church. And it's just as east to pretend we're not a part of the problem." As I read the Barefoot Church I was brought to a point of conviction.

I also came up with my own it's easy.... it's easy to think you are doing everything you can to share who God is with those around you... but the point is you can always do more. We should never get comfortable.

Barefoot Church by Brandon Hatmaker inspires Christians to be a Catalyst for social renewal in any context. First it is important to know your context. Who are you surrounded with? Is it the Wall Street wonderboy? Is it your nosey neighbor? Is it the homeless man that holds the door at your local Dunkin Doughnuts?

To know your context you need to get out there. Talk to anyone and everyone. Be Barefoot. Brandon Hatmaker says in Barefoot Church, "Mother Teresa lived by a belief that there is physical, emotional, and spiritual need in every community. Need is everywhere, yet we too often fail to see it. If we don't see it, we won't be bothered by it. If we're not bothered by it, we won't engage it. By our neglect, we become the oppressor." So we should not convince ourselves to think that just because we don't physically see something that there is no need.

We need to do more then just feel bad we need to look for ways that we can be the church outside of the comfort of our four walls. Hatmaker states, "Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about. But, I'm afraid He would ask me the same question."

So I would like to ask you, "What are you doing?" Instead of Sympathizing, how are you turning that into action? Into Mercy? I want to encourage you this week to step out of your comfort zone a little and take some time to be Christ to someone else in a real tangible way.

Building Bridges

In my last post I talked about the importance of knowing who you are ministering too as well as some ways to find that out.

Tonight I would like to talk about the why behind knowing who you are ministering too. I believe one of the most important steps in reaching the lost is bridge building. And the way that you can build that bridge is by knowing who your audience is. This opens so many doors.

When I came to NYC I had so many things in my head that I thought would hinder my ministry but as I learned the importance of building a bridge all of those things that hindered me went away.

One of the things that I noticed in the Bronx River Area is that in the summer there are so many kids outside in the playgrounds with their moms. So I took some large bubble wands, Bubbles, and sidewalk chalk to the park. It was not only a hit but it grew my Wednesday night kid's club from about ten kids to fifty every single week.

What are some bridges that you can build in your ministry? They will not be the same for everyone. Think about it and share your bridges with everyone in the comments section. I look forward to hearing all your ideas!

What do I know about Culture?

As I was thinking about where to take this first post I decided I should really start from the beginning. What helps grow your ministry?

I believe one of the most important things in ministry is to know who you are ministering to. This can do several things. The first thing this does it is shows those you are ministering to that you actually care about who they are. Second is that it can help you draw from what they love to actually share the gospel with them.

How do we find this information out? How we learn the culture of the kids we are working with is not going to be found in a book or on TV, we are not going to be able to google it. This information can only be found out by talking, asking questions, and most importantly listening.

One idea you can do with your staff and volunteers is do a children's ministry version of Family Feud. Make a survey and have the kids answer the questions take your top 5 or 6 answers for each question, form two teams and get to playing. The kids can be the studio audience.

Let's look at one question I asked my kids today; Who is your favorite singer? The top three answers in order were Justin Beiber, Rihanna, and Shakira. Do you know who these singers are? Have you listened to any of their songs? What are some of their lyrics? These are very important questions to answer.

In the next installment I will be talking about how we can use the things that we learn about our kids to reach them with the gospel.

As always if you have questions or any of your own insights about children's ministry please feel free to ask them in the comments section.

Who am I?

Nearly 10 years ago I left my life in the quiet suburbs of the midwest, traded life in a house with a driveway and a garage for a 3rd floor 1 bedroom apartment in the Bronx to become a missionary to children and families in innercity New York City.

When God called me from the direction I thought my life was going to the direction my life took now I was definitely scared, nervous, and felt very unprepared. I mean my life was so much different then those of the families I was going to be ministering too.

But one thing I learned is that when God is in the mix that is all you need.

Each week in this blog I hope to share with you the lessons I have learned ministering in the innercity of New York City. If you have any questions for me please feel free to leave them in the comments and I will try to answer them the best that I can in the next blog post.

I look forward to sharing with you all that I have learned in my 10 years of innercity children's ministry.